This stroller ad has been all over the mom-net and every time I see it, I’m so thankful that a company has finally tapped into how real moms look when we exercise.
Sure, we like to stand behind the cliché of yoga pants and mom jeans, but the truth is that we are all covering washboard abs, zero body fat and thoroughly enjoy jogging with our babies while wearing a bikini. Not only do most moms with infants have enough confidence in their bodies to show it off by the family pool, but why stop there? Pregnancy transforms your body to model-like measurements and we all need to be like this very obviously real mother and exercise in a two-piece swimsuit. Run all over the damn town wearing this.
Because THIS is reality, guys!
Also in an effort to make me feel like less of a woman, is this video of a mom delivering her own baby in the passenger seat of the car while her husband is all calm like he’s driving Miss Daisy to her hair appointment.
The husband freaks me the freak out in this video because he appears to be driving at a snail’s pace and isn’t remotely afraid that his wife’s vagina is about to burst open all over his car’s interior. Ryan barely let me have contractions in his car out of fear that my loud yelling would somehow harm his car’s resale value. But this bro, even after the baby is born, just keeps on driving like he’s going to Home Depot for a new drill bit. No rush, no rush! Just um, turn up the a/c and unwrap the umbilical cord around your still-attached-to-your-placenta-baby’s neck.
We’ve all been a bit under-the-weather here so when an article popped up on my Pinterest about how to keep sick kids entertained without screen time, I was definitely intrigued. Caroline came down with a nasty fever last week that has turned into a lingering cold for the rest of us. I figured this list may have some ideas that would allow Caroline to rest and for us not to watch one more damn episode of “Curious George.”
I was wrong because people that clearly don’t have kids made up this list or they have kids and really don’t like them.
5 Screen Free Sick Day Activities
- Sudoku Puzzles. I found this great site that has a huge list of free printable Sudoku puzzles. They are sorted by difficulty and even come with the solutions. (Although I never print that page… I don’t want to the kids to know about it. )
- Secret Codes. I love this fun idea of secret code math equations from No Time for Flash Cards. It involves spies and math, both of which are HUGE at our house. Modify the problems to fit the math skills your little one is currently working on.
- DIY Geoboard. Geoboards are a wonderful quiet time activity. An Everyday Story has created a fun DIY Geoboard that is not only easy to make (and store) but also adds another level of creativity that regular geoboards don’t have.
- Sponge Blocks. Building with anything is a great sick day activity. I especially like the idea of building with DIY sponge blocks because it’s something new and exciting. These blocks also add to the quiet and softness needs of a sick kiddo. (This idea is from Inner Child Fun.)
- Make a Comic. Sick days (especially the sick days where the kids are almost better) are the perfect days to start a project. Sweet Hot Mess has printable blank comic strip sheets. They are so fun and just beg to be filled with an exciting story. Print a few extras and join in!
Huh? Who, in their right mind as a parent, is like “honey, I know you just threw up your PB&J, but maybe you want to build a bungalow or a craftsmen style house with these awesome sponge blocks?” Who wants to do that? And who the hell wants to do secret math codes when they’re healthy, let alone when they’re sick? Have these people never taken cough medicine? I can barely tie my shoelaces and remember my middle name after a swig of Robitussin and you want my medicated child to solve a damn Sodoku?
But seriously, thank god for geoboards. That’s actually a good idea.
Just kidding. That’s awful because it involves pins, rubber bands and corkboard and that spells “absolutely boring” to me. If I gave that to Caroline, she’d pin my still-conscious head to the corkboard and flick the rubber bands at me until I bled and apologized for giving her such a feeble activity to do while she was sick.
Come to think of it, maybe screen time when you’re sick isn’t so bad after all…
Queue up another episode of “Curious George!”