Well, this is certainly awkward. I feel like I somehow took an unscheduled, unannounced break from our relationship. I apologize if you bought me an anniversary present or if I stood you up at the movies. I promise we didn’t break up and it’s definitely not you, it’s me.
You see, I’m horrendous at multi-tasking. I could never be a “Jack of all trades” because Jack’s life sucks. He’s got too many trades, too much to do, too much to handle. However, I’ve found myself in Jack’s shoes trying to juggle too much lately and when I couldn’t juggle all of the balls in my hands (Wow. That sounds outrageously dirty. I could delete it, but I won’t because I have the sense of humor of a 10 year old.), I had to temporarily drop something. Since I couldn’t abandon my child without being thrown in jail for child negligence and I couldn’t stop doing my job without being fired, I had to put the blog on the backburner for a minute.
Now I know what my absence does to your life and I apologize. You were all probably crying hysterically and kissing the life size poster of me in your bedroom, begging for my name to appear in your email. I get it. I’m popular and awesome. But hear me out…
So I started a new job. A job that I love, but one that keeps me as busy as a bartender serving Lindsay Lohan. We’ve been back at school for about three weeks now and I’m finally starting to feel like we’re settling into a routine. Caroline is at an in-home daycare three days a week and with my mom two days a week. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that every moment I’m not at work, I want to be snuggling her up so I can’t feel too guilty about not blogging lately. She’s so full of energy and spunk that paying attention to anything that isn’t her is nearly impossible. I mean, I guess I could blog and let her run around, but she’d definitely find electric sockets, matches and open flames or something soooo.
So to sum life up: it’s been busy. Good, rewarding, fun, overwhelming, nuts, but good. I promise to start blogging regularly again. This is one of my favorite hobbies because it allows me to project my self-importance and narcissism to the world. In my head, I’m really incredible and the world will suffer if it doesn’t have me writing about my close-minded dislike of most people and my lackluster skills as somebody that tries to desperately run. I mean, I don’t think it’s coincidence that this mess in Syria started when I stopped blogging. The world goes nuts without me so you see, my blogging is important and saves lives.
I have tons of blog posts on deck that include exceedingly important topics such as:
- Halloween candy and how I like it
- Fall-themed socks that I found at a craft store
- How I killed a snail by accident
- Are cough drops just candy in disguise?
- The ways in which my dog needs a haircut
My God, the world NEEDS my literary genius!
I of course would be remiss if I didn’t mention my half-marathon that I ran today. The reason why I’m waiting until the end of this post to mention it is because I didn’t run it. Too many reasons to mention right now when I just took a shot of Robitussin, but suffice it to say that a few lingering blisters and a brand new bronchitis-ish sickness this week halted my efforts. My voice sounds like a mix of one of those people with holes in their throats on the “NY Smokers Quit” commercials plus a 13 year old pubescent boy. I should honestly do voiceovers for 1-900 numbers or something—it’s that sexy. But all of that is another post for another day.
Right now, let’s just leave it as “I’m back” and you can stop sending me those “I Miss You, Allee” love letters with your lipstick smears all over them. It’s starting to get creepy…