I’m certain there are awards for productive bloggers that write meaningful and insightful posts on a regular basis, but are there awards for bloggers that abandon their blog in favor of doing anything other than looking at a computer screen? If so, someone nominate me. I know I’ve been MIA, but I’ve been creepily thinking of you all (fully clothed, of course). Think of me as a distant grandparent. Sure, I never make it to watch your Christmas pageant, but you can count on me for a tasteless joke and $5 on your birthday. Well, the last part might not be true, but I got the tasteless joke part covered.
Obviously, I’ve been busy. Well, busy and lazy. But I always have the best intentions of posting when I find some free time, but then I end up watching an episode of “House Hunters” or reading a few articles about Khloe Kardashian and her crack-addicted husband in my issue of US Weekly. Clearly, my priorities are correct.
Now that the holidays are over, maybe I can re-focus some of my energy on blogging again. Every time I went to blog, I’d get distracted with online shopping for Christmas. I obviously wasn’t very successful in my online shopping attempts because 87% of the people in my life got gift cards. Some of them may have already been used because I found them in my wallet, but whatever…be grateful for your $10.47 certificate to the Olive Garden.
So how was everyone’s Christmas?! Ours was great despite a disgustingly sick child. What kind of sick-in-the-head Santa Claus brings a kid bronchitis for Christmas? She isn’t even old enough to be on the “naughty list” so clearly Santa is just an asshole that likes to see small children suffer. She’s been sick since Christmas Eve and against my better judgment, we proceeded with celebrating at our two family’s houses only for her to conclude the festivities by vomiting over most of Ryan’s family right before dinner. I know a lot of people associate holiday cheer with eggnog, presents and cookies, but this year it was all about green, crusty boogers, curdled milk baby vomit and a 22 pound toddler glued to me yelling “mommy!” Aren’t you guys jealous? You should be. Home girl is so sick that she didn’t even bother with unwrapping most of her presents. Her “big” present was a play kitchen that she played with for about 10 minutes before coughing up a black lung.
That was definitely the downside to Christmas, but the upside is that we got a call this morning from our realtor saying that our house sold! Paying two mortgages is a little too Oprah for us. I was getting worried that I’d have to sell one of my kidneys (and since my kidneys are full of stones, it probably wouldn’t even be worth much) or get pregnant and sell the baby to some Mexican drug lords just to afford both payments. Thankfully, my internal organs and uterus are safe. A nice couple bought our old house which makes me feel slightly nostalgic. When we moved, all I could think of was the dilapidated pool and the creepy bugs in the basement. Now that’s sold, all I can think of is Ryan proposing in the living room and bringing Caroline home there. But then again…bugs…in the basement. Creepy ones. With lots of legs.
Eh, I’m over it. Enjoy the house, bitches.
Work has been b-u-s-y. I did write my first referral two weeks ago which is a real accomplishment for me. I’ve avoided writing them my entire career because it involves paperwork, signatures, going to different offices, but now you can submit referrals digitally so every time a kid blinks more than the recommended times per minute, I write them up. Breathing with your mouth open? Referral. Looked out the window while we were taking notes? Referral. Didn’t ask me how my baby was doing? Referral. Asked what Marie Antoinette’s first name was? Referral and a shameful head shake.
Just kidding (except about the Marie Antoinette question—that was real AND very sad) because I really do love teaching these days. The days go by so quickly that I can’t complain. Everyday feels like I got slapped right across the face and I leave the building with whiplash. However, don’t think that I’m not already counting down the days until summer vacation. I think once Christmas break is over, the next logical countdown is to June. We have a couple of week-long breaks in February and April, but let’s keep our eyes on the big prize, shall we?
What else is new? Our new house is awesome. We don’t have a single thing on the wall yet, but we’re 87% unpacked and it’s starting to feel more and more like our home instead of some type of vacation home we’re renting out. I think once your baby pees on the carpet before her bath and your cat pukes up Christmas garland on the stairs that it’s officially your house, right? That just screams “home sweet home” to me. My current Pinterest project is Caroline’s room. She’s kind of a big girl now so I want to redesign it to reflect her new, growing personality. I told Ryan that I want to do her room in bright pastels to which he rightfully responded that my idea doesn’t make any sense because pastels can’t be bright. I guess it doesn’t make sense, but whatever…clearly, he just doesn’t understand my vision. I bet people said the same thing about Leonardo Da Vinci’s ideas and who is laughing (and dead) now?!
Oh snaps, I forgot to discuss running. I know why I didn’t discuss this earlier…
Well actually I DO now why…I haven’t gone out for a run in…hmm…I think birds were still living in this city and I could see that green stuff that covers your lawn so yeah it’s been awhile. Are you judging me? If you are, I’ve never liked you anyway so shoo!
In all honesty, running is hard to do when you’re at work by 6:15am and it’s dark by 4:30pm. Factor in a baby, grading and catching up on episodes of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and my days are done before I even wake up in the morning. The great thing about running is that it’s always there when I need it. I have 10 more days off so I’m hoping to squeeze in a run or two if the temperature is above freezing and the roads aren’t covered in snow (that’s a difficult combination to accomplish in Rochester in December). Running is like that one guy friend with poor self-confidence that you can go back to in between real relationships because he’s always there and available. He doesn’t ask any questions as to why you don’t call or why you disappear for months at a time, he’s just happy that he can tagalong to your office picnic.
Truth be told, I’m craving a run. Whenever I hear Pitbull, my legs just start running in place. It’s like some weird involuntary, Hispanic gene that I inherited. I assume all other small percentage Puerto Ricans experience the same thing when they hear Pitbull on the radio? You just can’t not start twerking and grinding the nearest man…or you know, running…when you hear his music.
Alright, I really ought to go. C-Rock is snoozing upstairs, but I hear the faint sound of kicking which means she’s waking up and if I’m not up there in time, she might put me in a nursing home prematurely in a few years. Gotta stay on that kid’s good side…
It’s good to be back and I WILL be back later. Terminator style, yo.