Thursday: Remember how I complained about hating tempo runs and my inability to successfully complete one? And then you guys commented with your sympathies and suggestions? Well apparently, I need to complain about things not happening more often (is that possible?) because bam! I owned my tempo run. I had four miles planned at a 9:15 pace and miraculously came in at 4.12 miles at a 9:04 pace. In the running world, we call that “making a run your bitch.”
Since saying my difficulties out loud worked so nicely for me with this tempo run, let me announce some other things that I’m never able to do in hopes they come true too!
- I never get to make out with George Clooney on his yacht in Italy
- I never win the lottery
- I can’t write a popular novel that is turned into a successful movie with Jennifer Garner in the leading role
- I can’t have a flat stomach complete with razor sharp abs
Okay, enough of my dreams…
Saturday: Double digit run. Yup, I completed ten whole miles although I didn’t feel very complete in the end. In fact, I felt like a dead woman walking. I seem to be “hitting the wall” rather quickly in my long runs then I tell myself it’s okay to take a walking break and then it goes all downhill from there. I had planned for ten miles at a 10:15 pace and not factoring in my “breathing sessions” on the side off the road, I managed a 10:17 pace. By mile nine, my legs were seizing up and getting crampy. I drank a lot of water and ate an entire bag of gels, but I won’t lie…the last few miles were rough. But it’s in the books and done. I just need to get over the mental hump of long runs, but that’s another dilemma for another day.
I did run down a very desolate country road and it was the perfect mix of tranquil and worrisome. I kept thinking of how peaceful the country is and how I want to live there, but then I immediately thought “what if my femur bone pops out right now? There’s no one to call 9-1-1. What if someone tries to kidnap me? Where am I going to run? Into corn fields? That’s scarier than getting kidnapped. I gotta run faster and find some damn civilization.” – it’s funny what motivates me.
Monday: Speed workout of 4×800 at a 8:30 pace with a one mile warm-up and cool down for a total of four miles. Left me a hot, sweaty mess.
I hope you’re having a most wonderful Monday everyone! Not to sound like a broken blog record, but we are still in full party-planning mode with me trying to piece together my lesson plans for the first couple of weeks of school. Needless to say, when Ryan gets home I automatically declare “beer o’clock” because stress makes me drink—that’s normal, right?
Our weekend was pretty standard. Obviously a ten mile run in the middle of the day on Saturday ate up a significant portion of my/our day, but Ryan was gracious enough to take care of C-Money while I disappeared down country roads for two hours. In return, Ryan went to the bar with the boys while I stayed behind with my glue gun. Guys, I’m getting pretty awesome with the glue gun. I think we need to forget about pistols and shotguns and focus on what the Second Amendment truly provides us the right to: crafting with hot glue! I could hot glue anything: broken bones, teeth, my cat to my dog, butt cheeks, anything really. Mainly, I just glue pictures of my baby to poster board BUT I’m definitely on the path to using the glue gun as a surgical tool.
We did spend our Saturday afternoon doing some much needed shopping for our growing weed of a daughter. Her pajamas are all uncomfortably small and I feel bad for the child when I’m giving her a bottle and her Buddha belly is hanging out of her shirt and her pants come above her knee. We only had two options- stop feeding her to stunt her growth or buy new pajamas. Because Ryan is afraid of prison, we headed to Carter’s and stocked up on cute PJs for the wee little one.
Oh, rewind! While heading to the store, I demanded Ryan stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for refueling purposes.
You can ask any Olympic runner and they’ll probably say, “after a long run, I head to the nearest coffee shop for a caramel iced coffee and a glazed doughnut.” It’s the key to success. I guess I could have drunk a bottle of water and ate some Greek yogurt…but…doughnuts. I mean, really.
We rounded off our weekend with strawberry rhubarb pie and the MTV Video Music Awards. Never mind the fact that we’re old and don’t know who One Direction is. Forget the fact that I haven’t seen a music video in well over a decade. Nah, we still watched (portions) of the show anyway. Well, let’s correct that…we stopped watching after Miley Cyrus came out and sexually violated my eyes. As someone that is rarely at a loss for words…her performance left me…without words. Bears, foam fingers, gyrating, vaginal shaking, butt grinding—too much! Too much! I couldn’t even finish my pie because of it.
Alright little people, I must go to bed. I’m going into work tomorrow to finalize a few things and scare myself enough to vomit. School starts in a week! Ah! Ah!
Before I forget, Griselda Mood’s favorite baby (yes, my baby) took her FIRST steps the other day! My heart cries.
Oh and a big “congrats” to Coach Holly for rocking out a 3:44 marathon this weekend! Let’s all secretly hate her for being so fast and awesome! Shh, don’t tell her.
How was your weekend folks? Do anything fun? Any good runs?
If you watched Miley’s performance, will be you taking a pregnancy test?